Heroes Of The Week – Noisey’s ‘Cute Kid’ Reviewers

It pains me to say it but I’m usually quite a cynical young man when it comes to music. But even I couldn’t deny the absolutely unashamed amazingness of this.

I’m sure you’ve all seen them by now as well. Watch it again. I’m not even letting the fact that Fearne Cotton’s got her claws into it ruin it for me.

For those of you that don’t know the back story here we go. Noisey, the music arm of Vice, decided that instead of doing plodding traditional reviews of upcoming singles they’d get a bunch of hyped up 5 year olds in to try their hand at it. Madness (and some actually quite off the wall insights) ensued.

It’s hard to pin down exactly what I love most about their reviews. It could be the fact that it’s an absolutely nuts concept. It could be the fact that the kids go mad.

Then again it could be because the kid that looks a bit like a cool Frodo Baggins is clearly a comic genius in the making. He bemoans Skrillex for not sounding more like Elton John whilst also saying he looks like a crocodile (seriously, give it a second look). He also states that, naturally, lions would like Azealia Banks’ ‘212’ because they eat meat, though he does admit here that he isn’t an expert on rap.

But no, the reason why I love these reviews is that I still react a bit like them when I hear something amazing for the first time. Music should be about unbridled excitement. You should get up and jump around when you hear exciting tunes. This reminded me why I fell in love with music in the first place.

The world is full of pretention and pretentious people who are often too busy trying to look cool to have a good time. Just enjoy music for music’s sake.

So follow their lead next time you hear a song that gets your toes tapping. Get your face painted like a tiger. Call Skrillex a crocodile. Go nuts.

That said, my chances of ever getting a job as a music journalist have clearly just been fatally undermined by a bunch of nursery age kids.

One of them even got to meet inventor of Live 8 Ryan Jarman. Tres jealous.

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One Response to Heroes Of The Week – Noisey’s ‘Cute Kid’ Reviewers

  1. mdmontondo says:

    This. Is. Ace. Adorable, mostly ridiculous but surprisingly insightful.

    And you’re right pal. I have no doubt that you’ll have a successful career as a music reviewer, but these kids have got it made in the shade, career-wise.

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